Tuesday, June 8, 2010

It's Confession Time

I have a confession to make:

Writing scares me. Ahem. Writing scares me!

There. I said it...er... wrote it.

I didn't think it did, but I have to face the truth, because the sooner you accept something, the sooner you can move forward. The only reason I am realizing it now is because I am currently on my third attempt at my novel, and after re-reading the first two botched manuscripts sitting on my desktop, my fingers and brain feel frozen.

I love it. I hate it. I want to be published. I'm terrified of having people read my work. I don't want to write. I can't stop. This journey is just one big oxymoron. But it's worth it ;)

I promised myself I would get back into it this week, but I keep opening a new word document, only to stare, and then close it again after a few moments. It's okay, it's only Tuesday. The muse is there--I think it might just be shy, perhaps because I've been so hard on it in the past. We are going to get reacquainted this week, and I will keep you all posted on progress.

My question to you is whether, as much as you love it, (because we all do, otherwise we wouldn't be doing this) do any of you have a similar fear of writing? For those of you who have finished your MS, does it ever get any better?


melissa said...

I really like your blog! I'm a new author and have enjoyed this new experience. I find that it's the most difficult and most rewarding. I'm also a graphic designer and love having that creative outlet as well.
Thanks for your post! I will be back for more updates. :-)

Melissa Nielsen

WritingNut said...

Hi Melissa - thanks so much for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed the post! :)

Anonymous said...

As much as I of course love to write, I also have this unexplainable semi-fear of having people read my work. I have confidence in my book, I do, it's just... I don't know! Maybe I'm scared of acclaim? Unfortunately, it hasn't gotten any better for me now that I'm done writing my manuscript, because that means I'm just one step closer to publication and people reading and critiquing my work.

But I think this is a perfectly natural feeling for writers. If we didn't have any fears, that could mean our ego is overinflated!

Nicole MacDonald said...

Everytime I see your blog title I hear the theme to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles running through my head *giggle*

Anyway! Yes I'm terrified of people reading it - and then when they say they like it I promptly get grouchy and think they're just been nice *lol*

Chris Catledge said...

I agree with Nicole. I don't know why it's so hard to accept that you have some God-given talent when it comes to writing. I seek out approval from family and friends and when they tell me they like it, I don't believe them. Writing truly is a heart wrenching affair.

Jemi Fraser said...

I'm not terrified of the writing part. The querying, publishing, marketing part? That terrifies me right down to the bones. :)

WritingNut said...

Amanda - I have the exact same fear. I'm so worried to have people read my work as well - maybe that's because apart from my sister, no one really has (at least not recently and not counting teachers when I was younger).

Nicole - Thanks! (I think :D) Another confession? I used to LOVE that show! And you're right! I never believe my sister when she reads my work and says it's good - I tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about ;)

Chris - I agree wholeheartedly. It truly is heart wrenching - but I think in the end - there's always a silver lining. Thanks for stopping by and following :)

Jemi - Ahhh! I know - I'm not even there yet and I'm already scared! Hopefully IF and when I get there, this type of worrying will have prepared me.

Nicole MacDonald said...

*hee* I've had that song in my head all day now *lol*
I actually just did a post on how it's okay not to like my work *grin*. A friend has had my MS for 1.5 months and been avoiding me lie mad - I finally squeezed it outta him today!