Insecure Writer's Support Group: I Have A Secret

It's the first Wednesday of the month!  You know what that means...It's time for an Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) post.  

And what is this, you ask?  For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it was the brilliant brainchild of our ninja captain, Mr. Alex Cavanaugh.  Alex is a truly awesome guy, and started the IWSG so that writers from all walks and stages on this crazy, amazing journey could come together and share stories, advice, fears, support.... you name it... we've got it!

SO.  I've been keeping a secret.  

Yuuuppp.... and a fairly big one, at that.  

It's something that I haven't shared with anyone... none of my friends, nor my family (except my sister).

I keep it deep inside, afraid to show the world.

...Yet it won't be even the tiniest bit of a surprise to any of you...

I write.  

I want to be a writer.

I AM a writer.  

No one knows this.  No one at work.  Not even my very best friends.  Sometimes it seems like I'm living two lives, chasing two careers... each integral to who I am.  

The one where I wake up every morning, hustle out of bed, go through the motions to drag myself out of the house and onto the train... eventually finding myself chained to my desk, scheduling deployments and pumping out reports...

The other where I can barely wait to slip upstairs, open up my laptop, double click that word doc... anticipating the excitement when that cursor flashes provocatively at me, while my fingers itch to fly across the keyboard...

Okay, so it's not exactly rocket science that writing is where I'm happiest ;)  

I'm not sure why I've been keeping it a secret.  

Perhaps it's because writing is such a personal journey.  When you think about it... you are literally pouring your soul out onto a tiny scrap of paper, transcribing your deepest, innermost thoughts from the darkest recesses of your mind... bringing them into the sunlight, rust, cobwebs and all..

It's real... it's honest... it's raw...

I'm not quite sure I'm ready for the world to see.

Maybe I want to have something to show for it first...

What about you guys?  Have any of you kept your writing a secret?  Told the world, your closest friends?  And why have you or haven't you?

Dreamers... In a Dangerous Time

Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you're waiting for the sky to fall
The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all...

Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime
But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight...


Who remembers this song?   Barenaked Ladies.

It's been stuck in my head for the last thirty minutes...randomly... as I racked my brain for which of the million and one things I wanted to write about today.  I have no idea where it came from.  

But the lyrics keep repeating.  

I used to do a "Words for Wednesday" post every week.  Usually it was inspired by a specific quote or phrase or song I'd heard at some point.  These particular words seemed fitting for a mini revival of that exercise.

The song is called "Lovers in a Dangerous Time".  

I'm a Dreamer.  I have always been a dreamer.  I suspect I will always be a dreamer.  People often tell me I just don't see things the way the real world presents them.   The way they're meant to be seen.

I think they're right.  But I also like to think perception is open to interpretation.  

I wouldn't want to be anything else.  Maybe a part of me will always retain my inner child.  It makes me sad how as we grow older, we start to lose our wonder, that spark, the joy in the belief that anything is possible...anything...

It hasn't been easy.  The last few years have been... difficult... interesting... to say the least.  But I wouldn't change a second of it.  

Nothing worth having usually comes without some kind of a fight.  

It's true.  

Don't you value and appreciate the things you had to work for much more than what's been handed to you?  Those glittering, shattered shards you had to fight for with all your heart and soul?  They didn't come easy, they kept you up at night...they pushed you forwards... they made you try harder... they made you wish upon that star...

We do indeed live in a dangerous time... where moments disappear in the blink of an eye.  Where yesterday's highs crash as quickly as today's lows vault up.  

Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight...

Life keeps moving.  It never stops.  The sun always rises though, doesn't it?  

Keep fighting for your dream.  Keep kicking at the darkness.  Eventually you will find that crack... the silver lining that evaded your grasp, but was always there.  

And it will grow.  It will flourish and it will thrive.  

Even on those days when it seems like everything is falling apart.  You will fall back together again.  I promise.

Okay... question time... naturally ;)

Are you a dreamer or grounded in reality?  A little bit of both?  What is something you're currently fighting for?  And who was (is) a fan of this song? 

Insecure Writer's Support Group: Dealing With Change

Oh my gosh guys... I can't believe it's been 4 years since I posted one of these!

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, which means a brand new post for The Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG).  

For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it was the brilliant brainchild of our ninja captain, Mr. Alex Cavanaugh.  Alex is a truly awesome guy, and started the IWSG so that writers from all walks and stages on this crazy, amazing journey could come together and share stories, advice, fears, support.... basically, anything goes.

And seeing as how I just returned to the blogging world exactly one month ago, an IWSG post was exactly up my alley ;).

Soo guys... I've been struggling.

Returning to blogging, to writing... hasn't been as easy as I planned.  Even though nothing feels more like home to me, it's been a constant battle.  I've been wrestling with ideas, posting schedules, getting back into the groove of things, finding my pace again.

And so much has changed!

Even just navigating through the blogosphere seems to now require a handbook!  And while I know it's merely readjusting, familiarizing myself with the new sites, and all these shiny new buttons, it has blown my mind just how different things are four years later!

Apparently I don't handle change very well either :P

But it's a part of life.  No matter where you are or how ready, change is inevitable.  It happens whether you like it or not.  Sometimes it sneaks up on you... a slap in the face... other times, you have months to prepare, and yet you still find yourself standing outside the door.. unwilling to turn the knob.

I doubt I'll ever learn to fully embrace change right away.  I think a small part of me may always resist to some extent... at least at first... at least until I'm comfortable.  Because while humans are creatures of habit, we were also made to adapt, to grow, to keep moving. 

We will figure it out as we go, even if the path isn't straight and narrow, or clear cut, or even a path at all.  

After all, at the end of the day, isn't that what change truly is?  The ability to keep going, keep trying, and keep reaching, no matter what curve balls life throws at you.

How about you guys?  How do you deal with change?  Do you feel the blogosphere has significantly changed in the last little while (or is it just me!)?

Back From Hiatus... 4 Years Later... And Here We Go!

Ahem... Knock, knock... Anybody home...?

Hello again friends :)

It's been a VERY long time.  Far too long...

I'm having a hard time believing that my last post was in February, 4 years ago.  4 years ago guys...  

As a result, it seemed quite fitting to return in February too.  

I've truly MISSED all of you!!  And I will freely admit that I have silently creeped on most of you over the last few years.  Come on... could I really stay away? ;)

I'm sad to see some of you have stopped blogging, or taken a break (although I'm not one to talk ;)), yet ecstatic that so many of my other favorites are still going strong.  I will be around to visit each and every one of you over the coming weeks, I promise :)

I'm sorry for disappearing.  

It wasn't planned, nor was it expected.  Life took... an interesting turn, to say the least.  It's funny how people always say, "well, life got in the way"... I'm not sure I really understood what that meant until now.  Life does indeed get in the way.  Sometimes, life has other plans for you.. and suddenly, without warning, you find yourself on a completely unintended path, winding down an unfamiliar river, all the while hoping you emerge somewhere safe and dry.  

I've meant to return to blogging for quite some time now.  It feels like a part of me was missing the entire time I was away.  Yet I was struggling.  Struggling with where I was, what I wanted, where I was going....but mostly...how to make my life my own again... While I could see the end goal.. I couldn't quite reach it... couldn't quite touch it...

These last few years have been filled with change... with the unexpected... with loads of uncertainty at every turn, each corner met with an uncanny mixture of unprecedented endings, and hopeful new beginnings.

Sort of like some of my favorite books ;)

While so much has changed...in the grander scheme of things, it also seems like it all stayed the same.  I've grown, I've evolved, I've learned, I've loved, I've fallen apart.  I've felt like my very soul was being ripped out at times... But somehow...most of all... I'm still me... I'm still here.  

I will have some updates of my journey over the upcoming weeks, as well as a possible revamp of the blog.  

I'm still writing, I'm still hoping, I'm still dreaming.  

I hope you are too.

Now... your turn! Tell me, fill me in... I want to know everything!  How have you guys been?  What's new?  What's changed?  

Any one of you wonderful, amazing writers get signed while I was gone?  Do you have books out?  New series?  I hope you did, I hope you do and I can't wait to celebrate with you!

Love, 
WritingNut