Friday, July 9, 2010

Searching for the Greener Grass

So I know I usually try to leave you with an inspirational post on Fridays to help us welcome the weekend, but I had an awful day yesterday and unfortunately, am not feeling very motivated :(

I hate my "day" job. I really do. The day stretched on for more than 12 hours yesterday.

But I'm scared to venture out there and change it for fear of the unknown. I've been there for almost 5 years nows, and while most people may be thinking that's high time for a change, I'm thinking that maybe I've just reached the epitome of the comfort zone (and shouldn't that be a good thing?).

But do you know what I'm really scared of? I'm worried this "day" job is going to suck the creativity right out of me. Like I will wake up one day and find that it's become my entire existence, and I've lost... well... me!

Now I know I just need to keep moving forward, and plowing through and believing in myself, but some days (like yesterday) prove to be more difficult than others! I'm so sorry to be a downer--I'm not trying to be--I just wanted to put this out there.

I think my dislike for this job should be pushing me to finish this book sooner - I need to redirect that energy.

Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way and that I'm not crazy. Do you ever have these moments/fears? If you're currently working, are you amongst the fortunate few that wake up every morning excited to go to work? Are you doing what you love?

13 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I enjoy what I do, as I get to be creative, but it has its downsides. Some days I feel stuck in the rut. It's my creative efforts outside of work that keep me going though. Don't let that job zap you!

Charmaine Clancy said...

I am lucky, but I'm teaching, so I get to spend my day surrounded by inspirational and creative kids.

Write on and spend some of your spare time looking for a new job that will allow you to be more creative, or at least give you a little more spare time to write!

Hope you're feeling the inpiration soon. :-)

Joanne said...

Maybe just let those days like yesterday "be," and not try to squeeze creativity into the mix too. That way you won't spend energy worrying about your writing, but just tell yourself you'll rest and get back to it tomorrow. I hope you're having a better day today :)

Nathalie said...

A new follower to your blog, I was (sad to say) overjoyed with this post. Overjoyed that I'm not alone! My day job is one I enjoy, but other life responsibilities tend to stand in the way of my writing muse from time to time.

A marriage on the brink of collapse, living very far away from all family and friends, it seems to drag out the busy daylight hours and shorten the more peaceful nighttime minutes.

It would be easy to lay blame for my unhappiness on all of that. Sometimes I really want to! But, most times, I come to my senses and realize I'm a pretty lucky chick and even though things are kind of a mess right now...this time next year, who knows where I'll be? My first book published? Maybe my second book published? Or right where I am now. But it doesn't matter, because the thoughts of what will be are tantalizing! Hold on to what tomorrow will bring, because whatever it is, it cancels out today!

Mesmerix said...

I'm fortunate that I have a job I truly enjoy.

However, I came from a job I hated. I strongly advise that you do everything you can to get out of your job if you hate it. Do not continue to suffer day in and day out, feeling trapped. The longer you stay, the worse it will get.

Trust me. I've been there. I won't ever sell myself short again, and you shouldn't either.

Palindrome said...

I like my job. It's a great company and the people are awesome. I do wish I didn't have to work at all but I'm glad I have a job that pays the bills.

If you don't like your job, just look around for a new one. There's no rule that says you can't shop around while still being employed. That's how I got this job. Easy peasy! Good luck!! :)

I hope your weekend goes better.

Lisa Gail Green said...

Hang in there!!! It can only get better. :) I stay home with my kids, but I've always had a hard time not working. Then I threw myself into writing. Now I have trouble with balance. No matter where you are and what you do there will be ups and downs, but the coolest thing is that writers as a breed are used to that roller coaster and we can all support each other.

Christine Purcell said...

I feel your pain. I have a young son and I haven't worked since he was born. I keep hoping I'll make enough from the writing that I won't have to go back to the awful day job.

Terri Tiffany said...

I recently left a job that left me little time to even think let alone write. That's not the reason I left though--won't go into all that--but I did understand that longing to be able to have enough creative energy to do what we want. It really is hard for sure!

Jan Markley said...

I know how you feel. The day job can drain your creative energies, especially if it's a negative environment.

Helen Ginger said...

In the end, you have to decide what to do. I would probably keep working as I looked for something else or I weighed whether I could get by financially and emotionally without the job.

Straight From Hel

WritingNut said...

Alex - I'm honestly going to try. I'm so glad that you enjoy what you do - it's very important. And it's true - we all face that rut sometimes.

Charmaine - You're right - teaching is one of the most rewarding jobs and nothing inspires you more than kids :)

Joanne - You are correct. When you try to squeeze too much into one day, it just ends up draining you completely.

Nathalie - You're definitely not alone. That's a lot on your plate, and I truly commend you for being so strong - you're an inspiration! I love your outlook on how to stay positive, and the fact that you continue to look towards the future with a bright focus. You are absolutely right - thank you so much for sharing your story and for your support.

Mesmerix - Thank you for the advice - I should really try, but it's complicated (we'll save that story for another day), but thank you again for your encouragement.

Hannah - I'm so happy that you like your job. I wish it were that easy (I'm sorry you don't have all the details), but at the moment I am stuck. But you're right, I am very thankful I have a job that pays the bills - thanks for the reminder :)

Lisa - You're absolutely right, and thank you so much for your kind words. That's one of things I love about the blogging community - everyone just jumps in to support you without asking questions.

Christine - Yes! That's exactly it too - I keep hoping that one day I will make enough from writing that I can stay home and write full time. I wish you all the best too.

Terri - Thank you very much. I'm so relieved to know that I'm not the only one.

Jan - That's exactly it - and I worry that even if I leave, I may just be in another negative environment - it's hard to find jobs that allow you that creativity.

Helen - Decisions, decisions - they're everywhere! And unfortunately, I know I hAVE to work for now, but I'm trying to keep a positive outlook.

WritingNut said...

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to say another BIG thank you to each and everyone of you for your kind words and support! They mean so much to me :)

It was just a really bad day, and you guys were right, things are much better now after the weekend.

I hope you all had a terrific weekend too :)